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♡ The flip flop that broke Basic Repellent! Okay, not really… But everyone really is going crazy over this adorable dupe that I stumbled upon a few weeks go & since it’s PRIME-able, you could order them now and have them in time for your boozy brunch this weekend! Confession: I wore them to Nordstrom the other day & slid by the real deals to do a quick, inconspicuous compare//contrast… The verdict: the nude ((listed as “Pink-Beige” on Amazon)) is a touch peachier than the OG Valentino’s, which is more of a muggy greyish tan this season. I actually 100000% prefer the color of the dupes over the real thing! And black is obviously a classic choice. Have yourself a Cardi moment & be like, “I can get em both, I don’t gotta choose” hehe. They keep selling out of sizes, but restock super quickly, so happy stalking! My favorite purchase of Spring 2019 thus far.

Jergen’s Ultra-Deep Tahiti Tan + Loving Tan Mitt
♡ CVS gives me hives. Maybe because it reminds me of the time that I was so scrubby, homeless chic in LA picking up unmentionables & ran into Ashton Kutcher. PTSD. Because like, otherwise, I totallllyyyyyy would’ve swooped my childhood crush, Kelso, from his absolutely perfect, babe wife, Mila Kunis, right? 😉 Also, I generally don’t do well anywhere with florescent lighting. That being said, I’ve found myself forced to pop in there regularly over the past 6 months to pick up this new Jergen’s tanning mousse that I couldn’t find anywhere else! Until now…*choir sings* Because it’s finally available on Amazon Prime… for $4 cheaper than the drugstore! I don’t exactly know when this full transition from my ride or die Fake Bake to this drugstore vibe happened, but all of a sudden I noticed that I have gone months without Fakey! & Confession: I don’t really miss it. The color of Tahiti Tan is SO GOOD! Totally different than their other mousses, and the perfect deep dark ((but not too dark!)) shade. Plus, fades nicely– no snakeskin. Just like makeup, I feel like the tools to apply are almost equally important ((could you even imagine applying your foundation with anything but a Beauty Blender or your favorite brush?)) While I’m not wild about Loving Tan’s mousse, I am the #1 fan of their velour mitt! I’ve been using this baby for well over a year, it delivers the most flawless application. Worth every penny.

Too Faced Born This Way Foundation Golden Beige
♡ Spring is here, sissys! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Spring Training is officially over & all of those dweebs went back to where they came from! Bliss. If you’re a girl who likes to change her foundation ((&//or bf) with the season, Too Faced Born This Way should be your move this spring! I’ve said it once & I’ll say it again… it’s the foundation better than Facetune! It has a flawless, undetectable coverage, is infused with sexy ingredients like HA & coconut oil, and is heatwave friendly. Shade: GOLDEN BEIGE universally matches all medium spray tans // self-tanner. Look, like Drake, I just flipped the switch. I’m currently undergoing a Glam Rehaul. While I’ve always felt like my look was pretty soft glam, I’m trying to go evennnn softer, bronzier, and glowier ((inspired by Desi Perkins)) One thing that won’t be changing? My Born This Way! She’s here to stay.

Drybar Charcoal Scrub
♡ This Dry Shampoo-aholic’s Anonymous meeting is now in session. Do you use dry shampoo on every day that ends in “y”? Do you regularly get high off of its fumes? Is your hair at the root often the texture of cotton candy due to your excessive usage? Then sis, do I have the perfect thing for you! Drybar’s new Charcoal Scalp Scrub!!! Game… Changer… that is an absolute necessity for product junkies! Because build-up is a thing. I swear, my hair is 10X shinier, refreshed, and squeaky clean after I use this. Also, I feel like it helps you get one extra day out of a wash because you have such a clean canvas. It stays that way. No dry shampoo needed. Know what I mean? How to use: Wet dirty hair. I like to part my hair down the middle and apply a nice amount. Scrub. Part on one side, repeat. Part on the other side, repeat. And then in the back & underneath, too! Rinse super well. Then, double shampoo your hair & use a nourishing conditioner. Use once a week, on your dirtiest day!

Laniege Lip Sleeping Mask
♡ Nostalgia at its finest, it smells like strawberry Lip Smackers, and the thicccc ultra creamy consistency is as if a Lip Smackers melted after being in your pocket on a hot summer day on the playground. Alright. That’s it. It’s definitely our grown up Lip Smackers, and I’m convinced that’s why everyone is freaking out over this stuff! Afterall, Lip Smackers was our first lip product that had “all the boys jockin’ & chase us after school” 😉 I put this on when I go to sleep & when I wake up it’s still on n poppin. Not to mention, the soft pink color payoff is so pretty and glossy! I also slather this on a no-makeup errand running day, and the look is very “Juicy Tube” adjacent. I’m addicted! I don’t have any lip fillers, but I notice that the ladies who do, need a lot of extra love in the moisture department. So be a cutie & get this for your bestie after she goes in for her DSL appointment. With the two sexiest skin ingredients HA & Vit-C, it’s a no brainer. EG’s Kissing Booth is open for the summer.

Acure Marla Oil
♡ Drunk Elephant Dupe Alert! So, I’m two months into my committed relationship with my A-Passioni Retinol, and things are going really well between us. I have noticed a significant difference in the texture of my skin + pore size! But like all budding romances, we’re still getting to know each other, I’m still getting used to how to manage her moodiness. Is this what it’s like to date a chick? I’ve figured out the perfect cocktail = ((1 pea sized A-Passioni + 2 pumps of B-Hydra)) before bed twice a week. But there’s a science on how to handle my skin those days between doses ((PSA: Retinol is not for skincare beginners, but SO worth the payoff if you can dedicate yourself to figuring out how to work it into your routine)) You HAVE to be a slave to super hydrating products post-use! Jetlag = BFF. I don’t think I could be on this journey without it ((or survive life in general, I am f*ing OBSESSED with this stuff)) But my other nighttime savior? Marula Oil. I used to have the Drunk Elephant one, but when it ran out I was like… car payment…. or face oil? Just kidding. But seriously. I love to play around with skincare dupes and compare//contrast results to see if the high-end version is worth the coin. Usually, in my experience, you really do get what you pay for. Anyways, I’ve been trying this Acure Marula Oil, I like that you can pick it up at Whole Foods, it makes me feel pure. It’s really good! I mean… It’s oil! But also it’s non-comedogenic ((won’t clog your pores, stop slapping coconut oil on your face, you freak)) fast absorbing, super hydrating, and anti-microbial which means that it could help heal breakouts too. I don’t know. It quenches my THOT skin the night after my Retinol ((or alcohol, who am I kidding?)) sucks the life out of it, and its inexpensive, so that’s really all I care about rn 🙂

Flowerbomb & Capri Blue “Volcano” Lotion
♡ Did you know that the iconic Volcano candle scent comes in a LOTION?! Do you want to smell like Anthropologie? Better described as: “Tropical fruits, sugared oranges, lemons, and limes, redolent with lightly exotic mountain greens. It is too complex and fab to even describe.” I think the candles are like $7,236, but the lotion is less than $20! So bright and springy. Layer the Volcanolotion with two spritz’s of the ultra intoxicating FLOWERBOMB aka my signature fragrance for the past decade! No joke. It’s sexy, it’s feminine, it has that certain je ne sais quais, which is what I aim to embody in every aspect of my life! The perfect Spring scent that will make him want to eat you like a dam mandarin orange. Plus, Sephora has a really good value set available right now! Free lotion, body wash & travel sized spray? Sign me up.

White Platform Old Skool Vans
♡ Oh Revolve… The pulse of Millenial “hot girl” fashion! If you’re wondering, I currently have 847 items <3’d on my Revolve account ((If anyone wants to let me borrow their sugar daddy, lmk)) I window shop daily, treat myself every once in awhile, but mostly, I draw inspo from their A+ expensive pieces & styling and then go find something similar somewhere less pricy like Pretty Little Thing or Forever21. It’s a talent of mine! Anyways, white sneakers are EVERYWHERE this Spring and I’m so in love. It’s such a cute look, no matter how you dice it! With girly girl dresses, skinny jeans + a great top, a band tee + cut off shorts, or my signature Sunday Funday vibe: baseball cap, crop top, denim jacket, lulu 7/8ths, and… you guessed it… SNEAKERS! Sometimes a bitch just wants to be comfy & casual when she’s sippin, ya know?! Anyways, there are so many options when it comes to the white sneaker. I personally am a Vans girl. Old Skools if we’re being specific. PLUS, at an astounding 5 foot 4, I like to go for the PLATFORM option and throw a little sneaky height in there! Call me crazy, but I swear it gives you that little booty lift & extra calf definition that a regular heel delivers, too! Going the platform route gives you more of the long, lean, supermodel leg look, so just do it! And don’t be afraid of white, they’re easy to spruce up. You can toss them in the wash + I use simple Clorox wipes to spot clean the rubber soles to keep em cute and clean.

Nutpods Keto Coffee Creamer
♡♡♡ Trader Joe’s Electric Buzz Coffee + 1 Scoop Collagen + dash Maca + NUTPODS = My Bombshell Coffee!!! ♡♡♡
I like to pretend to be Miss Healthy, but really… I’m a slight fraud, due to the fact that, since the beginning of time, I begin each day by pouring the devil itself into my coffee. Aka CREAMER! Not cute creamer, like a Califa Coconut Almond Zsa Zsa Glang Glang Essence Blend infused with Ashwaganda, but… Sugar Free Vanilla CoffeeMate. I KNOW! I SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT! This is the only time I choose Chemicals > Calories. I can’t help it, I’m weak. I’m also dramatic. It’s just a tiny splash, and still lightyears better than your sugar + carb laden Starbucks drink, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still ashamed by my choices. There is a better way. And that way is Nutpods. I’m not a verified Keto lady, but I like the whole premise of no added sugar // minimal carbs // high protein, high fat, GOOD foods, and that’s just what this little creamer delivers! No sugar. No carbs. A creamy, dreamy, delight ((just like me)) it’s not sweet ((sad face)) and it can’t be found at Trader Joe’s ((but hopefully a TJ’s knockoff is in the works)) but for now, it’s my go-to. If you’re looking to clean up your morning buzz, try these & lmk what you think!

♡ Speaking of Trader Joe’s…
New Hot EG Approved Items:
✩ Organic Spicy Avocado + Buffalo Hummus ((BOMBBBBBBBBBB))
✩ Bahn Mi Noodle Bowl ((DOUBBBBBLE BOMBBBB))
✩ Delicious Monster Sauv Blanc ((Clean, bright, fruity, $6 of FUN))

PS. Unpopular Opinion, but someone needs to hear it: Your beloved go-to cauliflower gnocchi’s are turning you into Carbie! It’s bikini szn bb, trade the cauli-gnochhi in for a little sauteed cruciferous crunch & thank me later when your baby abs reveal themselves in one month flat! ((See: Level Up Club – COMING SO SOON… aka April 2019!))


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