Reason #3586235286 why I’m in love with my group, BASIC REPELLENT…
Wait, what’s Basic Repellent, you ask? Lol
Basic Repellent is a secret society of bad b’s from all across the globe who gather daily to swap their best beauty tips, skinny hacks, and style inspo — it’s Bachelor recaps, boy drama, Insta growth, and random tipsy musings. It’s a safe place to ask for advice, the ideal medium to get a second opinion ((or millionth)) about something you’re conflicted over & your IRL besties are sick of hearing you gab about. And while you might come to laugh at the screenshots + stories about Bumble dates gone terribly wrong, you’ll stay for the REAL and unexpected friendships that you make along the way.
In short, it’s my happy place! We talk about EVERYTHING. A few days ago, one of my chicks asked me a question that stopped me dead in my tracks & totally stumped me:
“Erika, I want to ask you a question… What gives you all your confidence? Your posts and pictures just scream out confidence. I ask because I feel in time I’ve lost a lot of mine.”
When I first saw this question, I was honestly super caught off-guard. I read it & then looked around the room, like… Wait, ME!? How am I, ERIKA GARRETT, so confident?! Because the truth is, it wasn’t so long ago that I remember perusing the aisles of B&N, desperately searching for the perfect book that would have all the answers for the thing that I felt I was lacking the most: confidence.
Shortly thereafter, I had a super humbling // slightly emotional moment…
Damn. I really AM confident, huh!?!?! Finally… THIS is what I was always striving for! A million little things started running through my head… How did I get here? It certainly wasn’t a “bippidy bopitty boo” Cinderella moment where a fairy godmother ((like the author of “You Are a Badass”)) cast a spell on me, I spun around three times, and my dirty, tattered, rag confidence level all of a sudden evolved into one of gorgeous, sparkly, radiance– fit to waltz into the ball & bag Prince Charming, himself. So I sat… And I thought… & This is what I came up with:
♡ M I N D S E T ♡
Y’all. Not to sound all hokey, but when you start looking inward & , ridding yourself of negativity, focusing on your hopes, dreams, goals & aspirations, filling your mind + life with ONLY good vibes and positivity… Life all of a sudden gets REALLY good. The best side-effect of reading all of those self development books, practicing gratitude, journaling, meditating, visualizing, etc… CONFIDENCE! One of my favorite quotes of all time is, “If you have good thoughts, they will radiate from your face like sunshine & you will always look beautiful” TRUTH.
Get selfish. Really selfish. Focus on yourself. Remove yourself from the phantom competitions you’ve been putting yourself in with other women. Always remember: comparison is the thief of joy. Make yourself, your big juicy goals, and becoming everything you’ve always wanted to be, your #1 priority. Your only priority! The word “selfish” often receives a negative connotation–it scares people. We’ve always been told that being “selfish” is wrong… But in this case, it’s so necessary. If you don’t show up for your own damn self & create a life that you truly love, are proud of, and brings you joy, how can you show up for others positively? Everything around you will flourish, because you’ll finally take the pressure of happiness creation off of other people’s shoulders, because you’ll find it within. Others will be inspired to do the same for themselves…
You get what you give. My goal is to make everybody that crosses my path, feel like a somebody. I probably dish out 30 compliments a day, lol. Genuine, meaningful compliments! Making people feel good about themselves & seeing their faces light up has a 100000% return of investment. A warm smile that hints at the fact that maybe that person really needed to hear something nice in that moment, will make you feel good about yourself. CONFIDENT that you’re positively impacting people’s lives. Live a life with integrity, do the right thing even if no ones watching or it won’t garnish public praise. It will make you CONFIDENT that you’re doing your best each day. Dump the drama, stop talking badly about your ‘friends’, ditch the snakes who only want to reach out to you when they want to bring down // make fun of others. Take out the trash. I am CONFIDENT that you will not achieve your goals with people like that in your corner dragging you down.
♡ L O O K G O O D , F E E L G O O D ♡
But be very careful, you can’t derive ALL of your confidence from your looks- because it is fleeting! Flipping my perfectly tousled, big curly hair, strapping on a pushup bra, applying 13 layers of lip gloss, wearing a hot outfit showcasing how hard I’ve been working on my diet, and wearing a killer pair of heels that puts the booty on a pedestal makes my strut a little sassier & makes me feel confident enough to cooly flirt with the most attractive man in the room… But that’s just me dressed for battle + showing up to the war prepared. It’s likely that I wouldn’t feel as confident sweet talking hotties if I had just popped out my retainer with my hair in a bun on top of my head, crusted JetLag mask on as foundation, an oversized hoodie & flip flops. I’m just a regular girl who knows how to put herself together & play the game.
Looking good is a form of good manners, IMO… But more than that, I think that taking care of yourself and putting your best face forward every day, demonstrates self-love– not vanity. Honoring yourself enough to set aside the extra time in the morning to dance around to your favorite songs, do your hair, makeup, slip into an ensemble you feel cute in, and give yourself a big ol’ smooch & double-take when you walk past the mirror, thinking “DANG, SIS!!! You look GOOD!” sets a very powerful, CONFIDENT tone for your day… As opposed to rushing around every morning to throw your hair in a bun, maybe apply a coat of mascara and lipgloss, jumping into a boring, comfy, just work-appropriate outfit, probably feeling insecure that you look sloppy, rushing to tell everyone “I look so bad today” and feeling uncomfortable when an attractive man looks at you, wishing you would’ve maybe tried a little harder that day. Scraping by doing the bare minimum to take care of yourself each day, often yields a bare minimum confidence level. Don’t @ me if you don’t agree! This IS “Basic Repellent,” after-all…
It isn’t about the makeup. It isn’t about the hair. The outfit. The shoes… It’s about doing whatever it is you do that makes you FEEL beautiful. Cuz each & every one of us deserves to FEEL gorgeous, confident & sexy, every single day. Whatever daily ritual you do to get to there, is your prerogative.
♡ D O Y O U , B O O ♡
This is the most important thing of all. Relinquish the power of what your love interest, bff, mom, co-workers, friends & foes alike say or think about you, and remember that YOUR opinion of you // what you’re trying to do is the only one that matters… It will set you free. “If you live for a man’s compliments, you’ll die from his criticism” In other words, if the confidence in what you’re doing derives from the people who are telling you “You can do it! You can do it!” you’ll be crushed, discouraged, and tempted to give up when you’re going through the muck & your cheerleader’s enthusiastic tone fades to a whisper. TRUE CONFIDENCE CAN ONLY BE FOUND WITHIN. YOU CANNOT put that extreme responsibility into other people’s shaky hands. Trust me, I know firsthand that it’s easier said than done!
So, my blog. My little baby budding blog that will someday bloom with enough TLC, watering, and sweet songs that I sing to it, daily! For years, it was just a dream. And I’d tell people, friends even! “So, I really want to start a blog…” * crickets * followed by a subject change. I couldn’t believe that no one thought that I could do it! This lack of encouragement suppressed my dream for years. Until one day, without anyones permission, I went ahead and did it anyways. The HIGH and THRILL that I felt when I did this, and honestly every time I post something that I’m proud of, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Something that no one can take away from me. Something SO worth the risk… And the funniest // most unexpected thing? Everyone who was so lackluster about it before came out of the woodwork to say, “OMG! I always believed in you! Yay! So proud!” Which I still appreciate SO much, but in my head I’m low-key side eyeing them like, “Told you so…” 😉 Moral of the story: disregard everyone’s opinion of what you dream of doing. Don’t believe people’s hype, don’t believe people’s questions or criticism. JUST DO YOU, BOO! Be your own cheerleader. Believe in yourself. Achieving great things is scary af, but just feel the fear & f*ing do it anyways. The “unstoppable” level of confidence you’ll achieve when you finally set out to do the thing that sets your soul on fire is the ultimate level of success.
HOMEWORK: Write down every characteristic that your “dream self” possesses. Is she fearless in pursuit of her dreams? Is she kind to every person who crosses her path? The type of woman that makes everybody feel like a somebody? Is she fit? The queen of the spin studio? Is she a glamazon who everyone wants to do their makeup? A badass mom who is giving her kids a life full of adventure? The hostess with the mostest? That’s a question that only YOU can answer. You owe it to yourself to become HER. The woman who you truly WANT to be, deep down to your core. So why don’t you just do it? No matter how big or scary your goal is, you can… Just break down each XL, juicy, seemingly unattainable dream into tiny little bite sized goals that you can chip away at & work on EVERY SINGLE DAY. And when you start to get closer to being the woman of your dreams, even if they’re just shaky wobbly baby steps, THAT is where true & lasting confidence is built. THAT is when you start to see yourself as the Queen that you are, when you become PROUD of yourself for the progress that you’ve made– for yourself, by yourself, unapologetically. When you will confidently stand on your own two feet, look back and realize, that all those years walking through the fire you weren’t getting burned… You were being refined. Prepared to become all you were always meant to be.
Like this!? Come hang out with us at Basic Repellent, today!