The Pretty Skin Starter Pack

 

The Bare Necessities That EVERY Chick Needs To Implement!

 

If you’re looking for a game changer in the beauty department, odds are, that the ultimate solution is to just amp up your skincare a few notches! At age 28, I am thrilled to announce that I have found the Fountain of Youth: It is contained in very small, very colorful, expensive little packages & sold at your local Sephora. Yes sister, there’s really no way around it… Once you graduate from well-vodka cranberries to a nice vintage red blend {{Or even a crisp 2017 Charles Shaw Pinot Noir from Trader Joe’s, affectionately known by many as “Two Buck Chuck”}} it’s also time to grow up & adopt a more sophisticated skincare routine. And if you’re anything like me– aka FUN & slightly buzzed most nights after 6 PM– My little tips and tricks will help you ♫ “LOOK ALIVE, LOOK ALIVE” – Champagne Papi ♫ the morning after. After all, you will absolutely have to drag your ass out of bed each morning & go to work to be able to afford these beautiful products.

 

Sometimes when people ask me what my hobbies are, my natural inclination is to stray from the over-exaggerations that I usually gravitate towards {{or blatant lies, if you’re a glass half-empty kind of broad}} like: hot yoga, farmer’s markets, reading… and spill the REAL TEA: sipping wine in my bed watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, between applying various face masks. Like… That’s honestly what you will find me doing on any given Saturday night. All my friends know it. Ohhh, I’m sorry…. You want me to GO OUT ON A SATURDAY NIGHT AND LOSE MY PRECIOUS SLEEP & SEVERELY DEHYDRATE MY SKIN BY BINGE DRINKING TITOS SODA AT A SHITTY, LOUD, CROWDED CLUB & MEET NOTHING BUT GUYS WHO ARE EITHER IN A FRAT OR A FOSSIL WHO THINKS HE’S RICH BC HE BOUGHT A 2012 RED CORVETTE AND A BOTTLE OF DOM DURING HIS MIDLIFE CRISIS… & THEN BLACKED OUT BASIC GIRLS WHO FIND SAID RED ‘VETTE MAN SEXY AND IMPRESSIVE SPILL THEIR UTI CRAN JUICE ALL OVER MY NEW STUART WEITZMAN THIGH HIGH BOOTS ((OK, MAYBE THEY’RE DUPES, BUT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT!!!)) & THEN I CATCH MY CRUSH STARING AT THE FRESH SET OF EXPOSED 750CC KNOCKERS THAT THE COCKTAIL WAITRESS JUST GOT, SO I LEAVE & CRY ON THE INSIDE AS I DROWN MY SORROWS IN 3 SLICES OF PEPPERONI PIZZA, EXTRA RANCH IN THE ALLEY BEHIND JOES PIZZA *gasps for air*

 

So yeah. I guess you could say skincare is my hobby.

 

DISCLAIMER: I’m sure you’ve already gathered this by now, but I am simply NOT a “wash & go” type of girl. To me, looking beautiful and put together is a form of good manners & DAMMIT, I AM A LADY! That being said, I feel like all of the tips to follow are so quick and easy to work into your daily routine, and will truly make a NIGHT & DAY difference in the appearance of your skin! Also, I’m a Libra. My life is about balance. So for every pricey-ish product I use {{Don’t worry, I’m not ballin’, there will be no L-bombs dropped here, aka La Mer}}, there will also be one DIRT CHEAP thing that I do! Oftentimes yielding the most dramatic results… like Tinkling or Ice Rolling? My life will never be the same. Read on to find out what the hell I’m talking about!

 

Daily Double Cleanse w/ Facial Massage.
K, my favorite thing EVER is waking up in the morning, hopping in the hottest, steamy shower {{steam is the most INCREDIBLE thing for your skin!}} and taking a few minutes to reaaaaaally work in my cleanser with a 2 minute facial massage. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll LITERALLY feel like you’re rubbing the sleep & puffiness off of your face! Don’t even get me started with the neck… My goal in life is to have a skinny, frail, pencil neck, and I will stop at NOTHING to achieve it. Anyone know where I can get those gold rings that African ladies strap on to thinify & elongate? So elegant, and I’m DEFINITELY in the market for such a product. Until then, I’ve found another solution: bringing the facial massage all the way down the neck. Yes, each morning I give myself a good old fashioned NECK JOB in the shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but I am well on my way to achieve my New Years Resolution. This cleanser is heaven sent. Oldie but goodie.

 

Ice Roll.
Y’all… I’ve said it once & I’ll say it again, ICE ROLLING IS THE END ALL BE ALL BEAUTY TRICK!!!! I ice every single time I wash my face. It de-puffs, is anti-aging, and the rolling motions promote further facial massaging//fluid drainage which = A SKINNIER FACE! Don’t forget to roll under your chin + neck for a snatched jawline… The poor girl’s KyBella! At $10, if you don’t have this in your freezer already, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!

 

Collagen Coffee.
After I’m squeaky clean, scrubbed head to toe & my face is frozen, I like to take a moment to enjoy my morning cup of Joe in silence and ponder all of my life’s questionable decisions. In the name of being extra, I began adding a scoop of collagen to my coffee about 4 months ago. Don’t want to make any crazy accusations here, but my hair is shinier, nails stronger, and skin clearer & glowier {?} than ever! Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s collagen. I don’t want to backtrack & get uglier, so I will continue to add this magical, tasteless powder each day. This is the purest, most raved about brand– I absolutely love it and don’t see myself experimenting with any other formulations any time soon!

 

Serums!!!
I truly feel like just slapping on some moisturizer without first applying a nice serum or two is BARBARIC. There are two things your skin NEEDS every day: Hyalauronic Acid & Vitamin C. I get my HA Serum for $8 at Trader Joe’s and it is the most luscious, juicy one that I’ve ever gotten my hands on! Without getting too geeky on you, HA plumps the skin, locks in max hydration, and gives a youthful appearance. It’s a non-negotiable molecule in my lineup. Next in line is a Vitamin C serum. Now, these things are NOT all created equal, and this is something that you should splurge on, because it makes such a big difference in the brightness of your skin– This is because it REVERSES the signs of aging & the rich antioxidants protect against the world’s nasty elements + free radicals. THIS is one of my most prized possessions! Liquid gold, sunshine in a bottle, can’t get enough kind of stuff. ILY, Drunk Elephant {{aka me after I eat my body weight in TJ’s White Chocolate Peppermint Pretzel Thins this holiday season}}

 

DIY Dermaplaning.
An esthetician would slap me silly if they saw me referring to it as that. But. I just can’t bring myself to call it “shaving your face with an eyebrow razor.” But essentially, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. If you’re ready for the biggest wakeup call of your LIFE, run this little razor in tiny downward motions all over your dry, cleansed face and be both GLORIFIED & HORRIFIED by the peach fuzz and dead skin that it removes! I’m addicted. I do it at least twice a week, certainly before any significant night or event! If you’re using the “Tinkle” brand, throw them in the trash and order THESE. Tinkles are a fashion faux pas at this point, and oh so pale in comparison. My favorite thing in the world is applying a nice thiccc layer of the Jet Lag Mask afterwards and letting it all sink in. Then, prepare for the absolute BEST, butter smooth makeup application that you’ve ever experienced. I’m obviously very passionate about this $6 beauty non-negotiable.

 

Weekly Chemical Exfoliant.
I have NO WORDS for how insanely effective this product is. It’s something that you’ll just have to try yourself to believe! Apply a small layer all over your face as a 15-20 minute mask, and let it get to work turning over a fresh new layer of skin. Like, O-M-G. Not even being dramatic, you will weep at how gorgeous your skin is the next morning! I do this 1-2 times a week. You have to consistently use it each week to keep up the results, but trust me… You’ll want to. #1 PRODUCT WORTH THE SPLURGE.

 

Masks.
I’m a firm believer in the spiritual healing powers of face masks. LMAO. Seriously though, isn’t there just something sooooo comforting & satisfying about smoothing some fancy goop all over your face? Dry? Jet Lag. Oily? Charcoal. Ugly? GlamGlow. Fat? Here, a whiff of this “Watermelon Glow should hold you over! But in all seriousness, this is the best detox mask that will suck the life out of your breakout in 24 hours, guaranteed. Just don’t go anywhere after, as you will smell like a red wine vinaigrette and have a complexion the color of the sacred Bachelor rose {{54 days, people!}}

 

Oils.
Rose Hip Oil is the ageless VS Angel’s best kept secret. I slather it all over my face before bed + do a mini lymphatic drainage facial massage every night & It. Changed. Everything! It has to be 100% organic & cold pressed, I am obsessed with THIS one and have bought it over 10x. The other oil that I’ve been having an eternal love affair with, is the oh so sexy M-A-R-U-L-A. Ugh, don’t you just love the way it rolls off the tongue?! I splurged on THIS one & I don’t regret it one bit. I gently layer a few drops on my under-eyes & anywhere else I need a little extra love. This oil is SO thick and luxurious, and quenches my dry skin in a way that nothing else can!

 

Sleep on a Silk Pillowcase.
My virgin hair is the most wholesome thing about me. In hopes of protecting its innocence, I began sleeping on a silk pillowcase when I was 16 because my mane is my security blanket & without it, I am nothing. Back in those days, skincare meant those little, wet, astringent pads that are literally Clorox wipe adjacent. So it’s safe to say that silk being extremely gentle and anti-aging on the skin wasn’t a selling point to me in those days, but BOY am I glad that I’ve been sleeping on it all of these years! Cotton absorbs your skincare products. You might as well flush your La Mer down the toilet if you’re going to commit that sin! Get your silky here.

 

Extra Credit…
HydraFacials!!! Ummm I just got my first one ever at the AMAZING Sahra Spa at The Cosmo in Vegas last weekend and I could NOT believe my hungover eyes! My skin had literally N-E-V-E-R looked more amazing. If any ladies in Arizona want to hook a sista up, let me know!

 

NON-NEGOTIABLES TO ADD TO YOUR AMAZON CART & PRIME RN!
Ice Roller.
Collagen.
Face Razors.
Rose Hip Oil.
Charcoal Mask.

 

SPLURGE ITEMS THAT TOTALLY LIVE UP TO THE HYPE @ SEPHORA!!!!
Drunk Elephant Baby Facial // Wake up with your softest baby skin EVER the morning after this…
Jet Lag Mask // THE MVP. For butter smooth skin & the BEST makeup application of your life…
Tatcha Violet-C Radiance Mask // MUST do this if you’re going on a first date, or going to run into your worst enemy. I mean, if you’re into that gorgeous, “lit from within” kind of glow..

 

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Thank you to my new friend @singingdanielle for posting the most relatable skincare meme of all time! As always, please come say hi on insta @erikagarrett or join my conversations on Facebook & tell me all of your best kept skin secrets! XO

 

XO
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3 Responses
  • Angela Sposato
    November, 19, 2018

    Best videos for facial massages?

  • Allie Pape
    November, 20, 2018

    Wow this was amazing! I do A LOT of this but definitely incorporating even more into my routine. Drunk Elephant here I come!! Thanks for sharing your secrets, love following you!!!

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