I Tried To Stop Drinking For A Week & Here’s What Happened…

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Okay, so I LOVE my nightly glass {or 2-3!} of wine. Who’s with me? Like if I’m being honest… every night. SauvBlanc = BFF. Santa Margherita by the litaaaa is kinda my thing too. Now that I think about it, I can’t really remember a time that I’ve ever taken a break from drinking for an extended period of time… Frightening. Always a little light buzz, not often tipsy. I was watching Oprah 100 years ago & this insanely gorgeous older woman was talking about her book called “Ageless” and went on to talk about how she drinks wine every night as a “ritual of pleasure” & that if it’s something that just brings you joy rather than NEEDING it or using alcohol to numb emotions then it was totally okay 💁🏻‍♀️ LOL so I’ve just kinda run with that philosophy the past few years. Vino in the evening is like what coffee in the morning is, ya feel me?! And like… why would you ever take a break from COFFEE?

But I’m turning 28 in a few months and WTF is going on with my body?! I don’t know if it’s the stress from my move back home, the intense climate change from perfect LA weather to the extreme desert dry heat of Scottsdale, my age catching up to me, or WHAT but I feel like over the past few weeks all of a sudden I feel so blehhhh… I did NOT sign up for this! So I’m on a mission: How EG Gets Her Groove Back, if you will 😉 I have a whole plan of action in motion for diet & workouts, however I think I’m going to take things one step further and… cut out alcohol. Read on as I document this very intense week of social experiementation!

FRIDAY, DAY 1: Why am I starting this on a Friday? No seriously, W-H-Y!? Someone was feeling overly ambitious… After watching 100 YouTube videos about the health benefits of not drinking {90% of which were obvious no-brainers} I spent my afternoon at barre class followed by a Trader Joe’s run. On the menu: salad, salad, and more salad. I prepped turkey burgers & turkey meatballs {they were out of my favorite chili lime chicken burgers, ugh!} and sipped sparkling pineapple water out of a sassy glass with a straw in attempt to pretend like I was still getting lit as I watched the final NBA Championship game with my dad + brother. My mocktail was as boring as the game.

SATURDAY, DAY 2: Despite not sleeping well, I woke up feeling pretty good! AKA as good as I do any other day that I do partake in my evening vino. The difference that I DID notice- I looked better. Less puff-pastry, more svelte! My eternal quest is to just have a snatched chin/jawline, no KyBella. Went to morning barre & rewarded myself with a giant AJ’s iced tea… and maybe a few new dresses from Forever21 hehe. Slathered on my faux-tan and met my girlfriends at Montauk for a birthday celebration! I was sure that I would be able to maintain my self-control and just sip on H20 all day, as I was certainly immune from peer pressure. At spot #1, I was successful. But then when we relocated & everyone was having a blast all loosey goosey, I decided that, you know what?! I could have just oneeeee glass of Sauv Blanc! A celebration of my one day of sobriety if you will. Then I was having so much fun that 1 turned to 3 glasses of wine, 2 more bars, 2 beers, a late night Taco Bell binge, and a sleepover with my girls making prank calls into the wee hours of the AM.

SUNDAY: Although I only had 5 drinks last night, I woke up feeling DISGUSTINGGGG! Awful. Hungover brunch at Morning Squeeze {best breaky in all of Scottsdale in my humble opinion} followed by all day in bed. What a waste of my favorite day of the week! I rose from the dead around 6 PM for our long-standing Sunday tradition: HBO shows + takeout. Caprese salad {sub avo for tomato}, a few meatballs {I am what I eat}, and 2 glasses of wine to take the edge off of this gnarly hangover. Tomorrow is a new day!

MONDAY, DAY 1 TAKE 2: Lets do this! Easy breezy day with clean eating + tons of H20. Felt great with a lot of mental clarity! Doesn’t The Bachelor/Bachelorette make Mondays so much sweeter!? I’m so Team Jason + Chris rn. Swapped my wine for Kombucha at our weekly Bach viewing party at Hayley’s + later slept like a baby.

TUESDAY, DAY 2: Woke up feeling fabulous! Butttt… when do I not? 😉 Had an amazing, productive day. But then as the evening progressed, my PMS symptoms started acting up. NO. Crampy, starving, pissed at the world for no good reason, and Big confessing to Carrie that he was engaged to Natasha made a single solitary tear slide down my cheek. {Sidenote: I’ve been combating my AZ summertime boredom by rewatching Sex & the City from the beginning} I paced around like a bat out of hell debating whether or not I should break my one day streak yet again. Hmmm… Is it worth it? Jackson and I were about to head out for a lil sushi date. If I didn’t do SOMETHING to wage warfare against these raging hormones, I might accidentally slice his head off with a pair of dull chopsticks. So I poured myself a glass of coconut water… And maybe proceeded to spike it with a touch of watermelon vodka. Just one little ting! I regret nothing. Took the edge off & we enjoyed our jalapeño yellowtail sashimi in peace 🙂

WEDNESDAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW THIS: You know how sometimes that time of the month creeps up on you & somehow… by the grace of God… your life is like a tampon commercial? You know, the one where the girl is frolicking on the beach in a bikini- nothing but giggles & rainbows & butterflies…? WELL THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES, BITCH!!!!! Suddenly, overnight, I have the complexion of a prickly pear cactus, the body type of a beluga, and the temper of a chihuahua that just got punted across a room. THINGS ARE NOT OKAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! The time is 7:30 PM. I just took an hour shower debating what I should do to solve this crisis going on in my body- soberly. The thought crossed my mind to order Jimmy Johns… Not one, but TWO Vito #5’s! Nothing else will do… Except for onnnneeee little thing….

All of this anti-wine chatter got me thinking… Who am I to turn my back on this beautiful old friend of mine? What did wine ever do besides provide me with endless laughter and joy? Who is there for the most momentous + fun occasions in my life? Wine. Who is always there to celebrate a day of doing the bare minimum? Wine. Who is there to cure a case of the moody blues, or immediately ease the symptoms when I catch “F-boy syndrome”? Wine. Perhaps cutting this magical elixir out of my life for 7 days would be just like putting Jade on “mute” for a week: absolutely impossible. A day or two apart is healthy, but I think the lesson here may be: Best friends should always stick together 😀 On that note, I’m off to reunite with my long lost friend, Kim Crawford. Later nerds.

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  • Christine
    June, 13, 2018

    Love.

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