LALALAND

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a dream in my 🖤. To move to LA. And as we all know, you can never quite explain matters of the heart. No one but YOU quite understands that still small voice that says “What if you try?” You can ignore it, you can attempt to convince yourself that your dream is silly, that it’s too late, that the comfortable life you’ve built for yourself is enough… but as the story goes, that question of “What if?” will never go away. 6 short months ago, I packed my Mini Coop to the brim & headed west. As I sit here in my brand new gorgeous West Hollywood apartment {with a perfect view of the Hollywood sign} I can’t help but recall one of my favorite quotes from The Alchemist, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Making the choice to leave home in pursuit of my dreams was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do & I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed a few tears along the way. I left behind my family, my friends, and a boyfriend of a year and a half. But something hit me last summer & I had to get super real with myself…. I was about to turn 27 and realized that all I had done in my twenties is dedicate my whole life to my boyfriend of the moment. Live their life with their friends, and lose sight of myself & my dreams. So I made a radical change. But enough of this sappy stuff- this is a story about a girl who decided to just go for it.

When people ask me what it’s been like moving to LA, I really just smile & don’t quite know how to answer. If I’m being honest, it’s been everything. Amazing, crazy, fun, extremely hard, thrilling, lonely, depressing, inspiring, discouraging, scary, exhilarating, and everything in between. Nothing like what I expected, yet far beyond my wildest dreams. If that seems all over the board- that’s because it totally is. Finding my way here has been nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster, and I have learned more about myself in the past 6 months than I have in my entire life. A lot of people who have lived here agree: LA is the most love/hate relationship you’ll ever have! The basics: Yes, it takes 20 minutes to go 2 miles. Yes, you see celebrities everywhere. Yes, a lot of people are stuck-up and self-obsessed. Yes, it’s EXPENSIVE!!!! Yes, it’s worth every penny. And yes, it is fucking awesome.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have. I’ll be the first to admit that it was an uphill battle (at a 750% incline) for the first several months. Doubt would creep in and thoughts of missing home, wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life, and second-guessing whether or not I could make it out here were in heavy rotation in my mind. But I must say, the view from where I’m at now is prettttttty sweet- because I fought like hell to get here. I guess my point is that it hasn’t been easy, but it has 100% been worth it. Creating a whole new life in a new city is a lot like being a teenager: trying on a bunch of new identities and lifestyles and seeing what sticks. There was the beginning: the most wild summer where I was Little Miss Hollywood going out {most} days of the week. I quickly realized that this was not a sustainable lifestyle for a classy gal on the hunt for her future husband. Also, my life flashed before my eyes when Justin Bieber almost got into a head on collision with me in his White G-Wagon on Santa Monica + La Brea and I realized that life is short & I needed to make some positive changes 😉 Alas, I decided that my 27th birthday at Hyde was also a “going away party” for my Hollywood days. What’s fun about a fresh start is that you can truly become anyone that you want to be… for instance, my most magical day in California thus far was the day that my AOL Instant Messenger screen name circa 2001 SurferChick10982 came true. Seeing as I was an 11 year old girl who lived in the heart of the desert & I had never even touched a surfboard in my life, this screenname was an interesting choice. See, I really have been a dreamer since day one LOL. Anyways, on a perfect October Sunday afternoon I slipped into a little Roxy wetsuit in Venice Beach and paddled out into the ocean with some friends on longboards to watch the sunset. What happened next is something that I will never ever forget. With a background of the most picturesque cotton candy sunset, a pod of 6 beautiful DOLPHINS started jumping around and playing literally 20 feet away from me. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed in my whole entire life. These were full-on perfect Sea World bottlenosed Flippers, not some sad brown beat up Rocky Point, Mexico dolphins that I once saw while screaming my head off on the “Banana Boat,” the beads from my Mexico cornrows violently slapping my face. Maybe it was the 1/2 bottle of rosé I had just consumed, but I decided in that moment that I was going to trade in the city life for a strict bikini dress-code and become a beach bum, granola, surfer chick. Okay okay so I obviously didn’t end up following through with adopting this new identity, but the point is that I could’ve if I wanted to! 😉 What’s next? #FitFam? Only time will tell…

I’ve finally made it to this special place where it’s not about the guys, or the parties, the job, or whatever the event of the moment is. No. I’ve finally made it to this space where I feel SO inspired and eager to dive-in head first {without checking the temperature} into this whole blogging thing, which is something that has been on my heart for years. Am I ready to put myself out there like this- naked and afraid? No. But the thing that has resonated with me most this year is that no one is ever “ready” for anything life changing. But if you really want something, your only option is to buckle up, be bold, take the giant leap of faith, trust that you’ll figure it out along the way & give it ALL you’ve got. Because at the end of the day, the pain of never trying will always supersede the pain of trying but failing.

I was MADE for this. My entire life I have been on a never ending hunt for the best beauty hacks, an enviable wardrobe, and a microscopic waistline. I remember being in junior high concocting face masks from avocado and yogurt, conning my mother into buying my True Religion jeans, and doing Darren’s Dance Grooves {ancient artifact of early 2000’s DVDs} slutty choreography in my living room in hopes of getting a Britney Spears “Slave 4 U” set of abs on my 12 year old tummy {Btw: Didn’t get me a 6-pack, but did pay off at the Mormon dance parties I went to every weekend in high school} My hope & intention for this platform is to entertain, make you laugh, keep it real, and inspire regular girls just like me to go out into the world and chase your wildest dreams! I am living proof that it’s never too late. Lets do this, sis. XOXO

XO
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